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Support

When the news hits close.

Stories of sexualized violence ripple out. They can reopen old wounds, stir up fear, or leave you carrying other people's pain. Here's where to turn, whoever you are in this.

A calm, misty shoreline at dawn with soft pink light over still water

If something is landing hard for you, that makes sense. However close to home it is for you, it's allowed to affect you. This page gathers support for survivors, for the people around them, and for counsellors and therapists holding more than usual. Read only the parts you need, at your own pace. You can close it any time with the Quick exit button.

We say "sexualized violence" because it names what was done, not the person it was done to. It covers assault, abuse, coercion and harassment, at any age. Every service here is for survivors of every gender.

Survivor support, by country

These lines are for anyone affected by sexualized violence, whatever your gender, body or history, and however long ago it happened. You don't need to be in crisis to call, and you don't need to have told anyone or reported anything. Tap a place to see its services.

Canada (10 services)
British Columbia and Vancouver Island (13 services)
United States (3 services)
UK and Ireland (4 services)
Australia and New Zealand (3 services)
Anywhere else (2 services)
Trans and queer-led services (5 services)

For trans, non-binary and Two-Spirit survivors who'd rather talk to people who already get it. You can ask any service up front how they'll name you and whether police will be involved.

If someone tells you

There's no perfect script. What matters most is that they feel believed and stay in charge of what happens next. RAINN's T.A.L.K. guide is a simple place to start:

  • Thank them for telling you: "Thank you for trusting me with this."
  • Ask how you can help: "What would be most helpful right now?" Let them decide about reporting, medical care or telling anyone else.
  • Listen without judgment. Say "I believe you" and "It's not your fault." Skip the "why" questions. You don't need details, and it isn't your job to investigate.
  • Keep supporting. Healing isn't a straight line. Check in weeks and months later, too.
  • Keep what they told you private unless they ask you to share it, or someone is in immediate danger.
  • Look after yourself as well. The survivor lines above support friends, partners and family.

For counsellors, therapists and helpers

When a story like this breaks, clients bring it into the room, and so do you. Secondhand trauma (also called vicarious or secondary traumatic stress) is a normal response to hearing about harm. It isn't a sign you're doing the work wrong.

Signs to watch for

  • Clients' stories replaying at night, or trouble sleeping
  • Feeling numb, on edge, irritable or more cynical than usual
  • Avoiding certain sessions, news or conversations
  • Feeling less safe in the world, or worrying more about people you love

What helps

  • Bring it to supervision or peer consultation. Naming it is part of the work.
  • Build a small ritual between sessions and at the end of the day to mark the switch out of work.
  • Spread out the heaviest cases where you can, and protect your breaks.
  • Limit your own news intake on days you're holding a lot in session.
  • Check in with yourself using the free ProQOL measure below.
  • Get your own support. Helpers need therapists too.

Looking after yourself

Take what fits and leave the rest.

  • You can stay informed without reading every detail. Some people stick to headlines and skip the graphic accounts.
  • Muting a word or account for a few days is allowed. So is logging off.
  • Your body might react too: poor sleep, a racing heart, feeling on edge or feeling numb. These are common responses. If you'd like to try something, slow breathing, a walk, or talking to someone you trust helps some people settle.
  • Whatever you're feeling, including anger or nothing much at all, is allowed. Some people find it helps to put it somewhere: a donation, a letter, a conversation.
  • Whatever your story is, you deserve to be believed and supported, whoever was involved.
  • If something from your own past is coming up, a survivor line above can talk it through with you, any time.

More on Nila

Looking for ongoing support? Our counselling guide covers how to find a therapist, and trauma-informed care explains how to ask for exams and appointments that feel safer. The full crisis directory lists more countries.

Nila isn't a crisis service, and this page isn't sponsored. Know a service that belongs here? Tell us.